Little Big Girl

 
 Yesterday you had your first eye appointment. You loved it and exclaimed over everything. "You have a lot of interesting things in here" you said to the Optometrist. Everyone was charmed. You tickled them with your observations, manners, and cooperativeness. Well, it turns out, much to my surprise, you are far sighted and need glasses.

Far sighted? Where'd that come from? (I don't know anyone who is far sighted)

I have such mixed feelings about this.

You're so little and now your little face will be obscured. Your eyes will hide behind lenses.
 
And ...

Do you really need to look "smarter"? I'm not sure that's going to "help" you.

(But maybe looking older will help you???)

I kindof want to pretend I never took you in. You'll get along just fine without them.. right?

LOL

So, anyway, today we went looking for frames. At first you weren't overly happy about doing so but as soon as you realized that you'd get to "stay up today" as opposed to taking a nap you were happy. We found your pair at the first place we went. You fell in love with blue, wire frames with pretty blue butterflies on the sides. "They're pretty and I like pretty" you said.

They're too big for you but I too think they're cute and so we bought them. After 3 whole hours! 3 hours of waiting and trying to straighten the insurance out! Ugh!

Aidan, I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of your manners and I'm proud to see the smiles when you say your "Yes Sirs" and "No Ma'ams" I'm proud of how adults can ask you questions directly without going through me. I'm proud of what a trooper you were today.

You sat at the kid's table and read books... quietly but aloud. People came and stood behind you to listen, marveling at your skill. You completely ignored them. You'd found a new Berenstain to read and paid no attention.

A teacher came to sit by me. She asked me what I was going to do with you.

"Homeschool" I answered.

 I'm worried about the effects of the attention you get. The older you get, the more pronounced the attention. You're fully aware of it too. I do believe I can accurately say you even expect it at this point. You're not as shy anymore. You're well- spoken and articulate and you say "smart" things. (I find myself mentally shaking my head at the difference in you. You used to be such a shy, scowling, withdrawn child.)  How will this change you? Will you be so full of yourself by 10 that no one will ever want to speak with you? I don't know how to "stop" it from happening. Even if I personally never ever made any mention, hint, or whatnot about your abilities I'm not sure it would matter. It's too obvious from other's reactions.

But...

So far at least I think I've done a good job with you.

Today reaffirmed that.

As a treat, and because you were so wonderfully behaved, I took you to get a special snack.... milk and a chocolate chip cookie. You jumped up and down in your excitement.

"This is the best day, Mommy. You and I got to have privacy time together. I love having privacy time with you" you tell me, chocolate smeared on your face, eyes shining.

"And I looooove spending time with you, my Aidan" I replied.

As we walked to the car... you chattered nonstop. I don't remember what about. I was too busy watching you swing my hand and skip with happiness. I was too busy enjoying you.

In the car I put in my new Bowersox cd and we both started singing along to it but by the time I'd exited the parking lot...  I no longer heard you. Glancing in the mirror I saw that you'd fallen asleep.

Your face was relaxed and tilted to the side. Your cheeks, I saw, were still babyishly rounded. With surprise, it struck me how exactly young you are.