Another day

I'm sick and it sucks . Aidan is as well. I really would rather be more sick so she wouldn't be though. She wakes at night miserable and cannot breathe due to her stuffy nose. It hurts to see her that way. I think Ainsley may be getting sick as well. Isn't Ainsley such a nice name? :-) I'm about to go to bed. Just thought I'd drop a line. I don't really have anything in my head to say. Tonight was a pleasant night. I slept until 7 and then John and I watched various shows on tv. Mutti and I watched Ghost Whisperer. La-de-da Just another day.

All the Things I Would Like to Say

First, I'm not living in a situation yet where the internet is easily used. (my mother has the only computer with a connection) I regret very much that I have not kept up with blogging all the thoughts and events that I've shared with the girls for the last year and half. Aidan will soon be 18 months old and so much has been lost. Not only an accurate account of our daily lives but feelings and thoughts she has made me feel. I know that if I had a record to read of what my mom thought of me- I'd love it. Soon, I hope, we will get internet and then, hopefully I will always keep it up.
.....
.....
.....
Things I wish Aidan to know....

I love being with you. I honestly believe that I was blessed when I was picked to be your mother. Every day with you, even when I'm grumpy or lazy, or depressed you make my soul smile. Sometimes I love you so much I'm just so overwhelmed by it.

Lately, you are having jealousy issues. Whenever anyone pays attention to Ainsley you are jumping on a table and loudly talking or ta-daing or anything that can get our attention back to you.

You are so GOOD to Ainsley. You take care of her whenever she's upset. You'll tuck her in, give her a pacifier, rub her head, give a toy, etc. You do NOT like it if she's crying. You will worry me to death until I do something about it. Though jealous you have never taken it out on her. You call her "A A" You'll wave and say in a high-pitched voice "hi a a" You're movements and such are very slow and gentle around her. So far, you're a great big sister.

Lately, I cannot hold you enough. You want your mom and only your mom much of the day. (I have to admit to liking your arms around me, your body warm and limp, your head on my shoulder.)

You whine nonstop all day. I really hope you quit soon. I've lost patience a few times but am pretty good about keeping it.

Your large motor skills have taken off a lot. I've been trying every Wednesday to take you to Pooler park and with just the four or so times you've progressed amazingly. You can now climb up the steps to your swingset and slide down by yourself. Climbing up and down the furniture is your favorite pastime too. Every time we go I see an improvement over the last time. I get such an enjoyment out of watching the progression.

You do not talk yet in the traditional sense. You repeat dozens of words everyday but only use them on your own a few times. I think you're storing them up until you feel comfortable doing them. A lot of "talking" is done in gibber-gabber.

You regularly color now. I love watching you. You organize the crayons more than you color though.

HOLY COW! You are the most organized, neat kid I've ever seen. You put everything where it goes and it has to be the correct placement. Recently, I moved some paper books on to your board book shelf and everyday you take them off and put them in a neat pile. You do not like them there and so remove them. Much of your playing is sorting and stacking and more sorting.

You sort by shape and color now. I'm very impressed with things you do. Your easter eggs you made into piles based by colors. Your shape sorter shapes you put all together in piles. (yes, you can do your shape sorter now no problem)

Sometimes I feel afraid that you are TOO smart because I worry if I can be a good mom to such an intelligent kid. I worry also about schooling you.

This last two weeks you've learned to bat your eyelashes (which are very long) and you grin in this cute pageant smile. I can't help but love you more.

Honey, I'm so enamored of you. I must just tell you.

This week, we started eating together as a family. Mutti tries to have dinner ready soon after you daddy gets home. You really love this. Of course, you beg and beg for more food.

Speaking of begging... you do it A LOT. No matter what it is... you will beg for if it's food. Either you whine and give the more sign or you grin and sparkle at us while you nod your head regally- making the uh-huh sound.

You make me laugh. I have to admit I laugh when you throw tantrums sometimes. I know I shouldn't though. But, in my defence, you stop on a dime when you want to. So, obviously you're not that upset. Tantrums are a daily event. Not the throw-yourself-on-the-floor kind but the crying hard when not given your way. Setting limits from the start seem to stem them some.

You're starting to do the independent thing.... like waving away my hand to help you go down stairs. You also will throw something on the floor and watch my reaction after I asked you to give it to me or put it away. (yesterday you kicked your cup three times when I asked you to put it in the kitchen)

You clean up and help with chores a lot (dishes, cleaning, laundry etc) but sometimes when I ASK you to do it- you like to refuse and cry. I always get my way though and you still do it. Ha Ha

I love you so much and I wish I could remember all the things I think and notice.



Things I wish Ainsley to know....

I'm sorry I haven't written you a weekly letter like I did with Aidan. Please don't think it's cause I love you less. You're my second child and like all consecutive kids you suffer from less attention. (ex. we prop your bottle a lot when feeding you)

Ainsley, you are SUCH a sweety. You grin just like I do with your whole face. You are very talkative and the complete opposite of Aidan. I believe you will be the social child - more willing to go to strangers and such.

You want to be held every waking minute. You do not like to be put down. You tend to get a little frantic sometimes and overwrought easily but we can usually calm you quickly. Holding your hand really helps. I think you feel secure that way. Mutti calls you a "touch baby"

Ainsley, you are definately a Daddy's girl and have been from the get-go. Whenever he talks to you or you see him you light up and talk in a way that you never do with anyone else. You get LOUD with your happy squels. It is So funny to see. I'm going to try to record it one night.

Apparently you will have reddish hair and blue eyes. A nice combo.

Little Bit, Honey, you have got to stop eating so much! You are already nearly 12 pounds (at 2 1/2) and the last three days you've gone from wanting 4 ounces every 2 1/2 hours to 6 oundes every 2 hours. I cannot keep up with you and have just opened the first can of formula today. I nearly cried and I really hope I can last until you are four months before we switch over. I really want you to have breastmilk ALL the time. However, it doesnt look to be able to happen.

You sleep all night now and wake for a bottle at 6am. Thank you.

I love you so much Ainsley. I feel such a peaceful happy quietness when I look at you. I like to sit and try to catch you eye and stroke your hair. (Did I mention I LOVE your hair???) I like to look at your long, pretty fingers too. I think of you as an adult with such pretty hands and feet like you have.

Speaking of feet, your feet are so TINY. Ainsley, I hate to say it but you're quickly becoming fat yet your feet remain small so you look so funny!

WOW you are strong. You sit up with propping and prefer it that way. You also stand on your feet for two or three minutes while I exclaim "what a big girl!" It makes you grin ear to ear.

I love catching your eye. Unless you're in the middle of a crying fit- you never fail to grin at me. I love your little grins Little Bit.