If I Tweeted

"I'm folding laundry right now... I realize... again... that I'm a pajama addict. The girls have way too many pajamas."

"Ainsley just... for the first time... pedaled her tricycle... Go Ainsley!"

"I have now just experienced the first Gross Humor from Aidan. She's singing a song about how 'Poop and Gas and Pee are all over the place... there on the toys, in the car, in the store...' WTH??"

"Mmmm peanut M&Ms"

"I just bought something off the Internet. ...again. But... Deeeaarr.. it was school related. We really needed those storage trays and test tubes."

"Oh Em Gee! I'm so embarrassed! I was outside playing with the girls when the neighbor lady came out to talk to me. She's all dressed lovely and expensively. After coming inside.. I realized I was wearing ratty stretch pants that are too small and a shirt covered in cat fur. My hair was also sticking up all over the place. No wonder she seemed surprised I lived on the street."

"I'm checking Facebook again... I need a better hobby"

" I love the word lovely... its... well?... lovely! Don't you love words that sound like what they mean? They're lovely!" (har har)

"I actually really like Barbie movies... go figure...and the plots are really quite nicely done...well...for a Barbie movie"

"I really have little to no self control... what's worse is that I'm conscious of it while I'm lacking it"

"The girls are crying their hearts out for no other reason but that they're tired...this is why they still take naps"

"Why is it so difficult to find jeans to fit Aidan?"

"Why is it so difficult to fit into my jeans... it couldn't be because I ate three times the recommended calorie amount today could it?"

"It amuses me when I derive so much pleasure from the most absurd things... like the $5.97 light fixture John put up in the hallway over a month ago. I still flip the switch on and off just to see the "new" light."

"Oh look... the cat just threw up all over our newly shampooed carpet... JOOOHHHNNN!!"