In one hour....

In one hour it is no longer your birthday, Ainsley. For the next year ... you are 1 year old. I have two toddlers now. Welcome to toddlerhood! You did so well for your party. There was hardly any crying and you quite enjoyed yourself (esp. after the sugar high. It was so funny... you started trying to run everywhere and then would fall down, get back up, run again, and fall again.) I'm glad you enjoyed your cake. By the way, for such an exuberant child... you were very reserved with digging into the cake. If I would have thought of it.. I would have thought you'd go in face first. I suppose that was testimony to the fact that you felt sick. I loved it when you caught on to the whole present unwrapping and started looking in all the empty bags for more presents.

Ainsley, as I like to sing to you... "you are my sunshine." How can I explain to you what that smiling face of yours makes me feel? How can I put it into words when the depths of the emotions are far deeper than what verbal language can convey? I hope I show it to you every day what I feel. I will admit that at first I worried over how much I could love you. You came right on the heels of your sister. We were just getting to know her and I didn't want to give up my bonding time with her. Frankly honey... I was worried you were the "spare." But, wonderfully, it wasn't like that. You were a totally separate wonderful gift that I will forever be grateful for. Your personality, your sweetness, your loveability, your stubbornness, your dramatic ways endear me to you. You are my treasure.... my priceless treasure. Daily, my heart smiles because you are here. Whenever I haven't seen you for a few hours a part of me inside starts feeling a little desperate to be within arms reach again. I know that must be hard to believe but its true. You are such a dear and I pray and hope that as you grow you stay strong spirited but without losing that open loving side. I love that sensitive side in you. I see in you a little girl who easily gets her feelings hurt... just like I did and I hope you never lose it all the way. (I think this side of myself has kept me "nice" if that makes any sense.) I also see a smart, intelligent, observant little girl. I revel in that. My hopes for you are high Ainsley.

In this next year you will experience many new things... have a lot of firsts. I look forward to being right there... watching... seeing you grasp new concepts... seeing you figure out how things are.....hearing you speak more and more, helping you.... teaching you...... oh, yeah and taking pictures. (I've noticed you don't even notice the flash anymore. Ha Ha) I have a lot of plans. I envision beach trips, backyard swims, delving into art projects, playgroup meetups, and so much more. It is a joy to have you in my life! How dull and boring it would be without you. Oh, Ainsley... what more can I wax on about? ~grin~ Just.... please know.... I would give my life just so that you could live for five more minutes, so that the world could enjoy your brightness just that much more.

I.... love.....YOU