Three More Days

On Sunday, Ainsley turns one. I no longer have a baby but two toddlers. I can't really explain what I feel. On one hand it is really exciting and thoughts of what we can do with two "big girls" over the next year run through my head. Seeing Ainsley grow and change and watching her "bloom" is just wonderful.... in the true meaning (full of wonder). Yet... I AM sad. Mothers say that all the time but it really is true. As the girls age I'm happy and sad about it. I know... or I hope... that I won't have another baby for a long time to come... so for a while that period of my life where I have one... is put on pause. Now I have two toddlers... soon to be preschoolers. I miss my baby. I know she's right here but she is growing so fast... especially because she's trying to keep up with Aidan. I also feel sad because this year seemed to have flown by like lightning. I feel like I've missed out on things about her. Because she wasn't my one and only I feel like I missed seeing things because I didn't have time to. I know this is all stupid... but it's what I feel. Man, I cannot imagine what I would feel if I worked.....I'd feel like I was missing everything.!