Driving to Asheville

I was so excited to see the mountains up ahead

Both of the girls fell asleep

The Mcdonalds that tells you you're close to Asheville

Aidan found her a box of rocks to keep herself busy with while we looked in the storage.

Cancer

It doesn't look as bad as it can get. With radiation and low dosages of chemo it might knock it out. It was hard watching and hearing Bridgett speak like she always does- adamantly and passionately about stupid shit. I'd watch and listen thinking "how could she not always be here?" I tried to imagine the worst, imagine a funeral etc. It was just too far fetched for me. I don't FEEL that she'll ... yes, I will say it....die .....I really don't.

N.C.

Mutti, I and the girls are up here in North Carolina. Today, Bridgett goes to get tested. I'm really afraid today. Yesterday and the days before I almost had to remind myself of what could happen. It just seemed too far fetched. Now, it's closer to knowing. Oh God, what if? How could it? I hope Andy is supporting Bridgett today.

There is such a weight.....

I pray this heavy feeling goes away. I'm so scared about possibilities. It cannot happen. It cannot.
Bridgett has cancer!! What can I do? I keep thinking I can change/ effect the coarse of things if I DO something.
Maybe make an important sacrifice? I don't know. I know I'm silly but still....

NOOO!

We didn't get the house.
An investor with cash did.
I'm still wondering when I'll get the call to say their deal fell through.
It's MY house.
I knew it immediately.
So, how can I NOT get it???

It looks good

Debra just called me to report that the listing agent says she will have the answer tomorrow. It looks really good. That's what the agent said. "They definitely have to see this one first," she said.
And so now I am excitedly afraid..
I ask myself what have I jumped into?

The Offer Is In....

Debra called us tonight to tell us that there would be another offer coming in tonight on our house. So we jumped and submitted one ourselves. Luckily, because this other couple went out to dinner ours came in first. Therefore it must be submitted to them first. And so now we wait...................

Why?

Within 15 minutes? Total elation turns to fear and devastation. Yet, there is still the elation. How can I be that cold? Tears threaten but I dismiss them.

I Love It!

We went and saw the house yesterday. John called up Debra (the real estate broker wife of his co-worker) and she said she'd show it. I loved it and I FEEL that this is our house. Debra talked us into talking with her "favorite" lender and basically, he says we can get the loan. So.... finger's crossed..... we may be making an offer this week.

Dream Home???

We have found a house that frankly meets all of our needs and our wish list. It would be a great investment property and it's a smaller home in a big, nice neighborhood. Hello! Just what all the books says to find. I don't know what steps to take because we don't have cash on hand. We kindof need that. I'd really like this house.

Potty Training Starts Now

Today I'm entering in the oh-so-fun world of potty training. I do not know if Aidan will take to it well or not. She could go either way. I bought a large bag of M&Ms. If she uses it- she'll get two. Since she's never had candy or chocolate before it should be a good incentive. Yes, I am not above using bribery.... oh.... I mean awards.

House Hunting

I'm restless and chomping at the bit. I am soo ready to have my own house. No, this rental is not a bad house and I'm quite comfortable here. Yes, the toys are rather a bit much everywhere but it's fine. It's just that our situation is up-in-the-air and I have a feeling we might soon be getting a visit to inspect the house and/or someone wanting us to sign a lease. I may be worrying for nothing. I wouldn't mind staying a bit longer to save money but with John starting the master program and everything... I'd just love to be settled.
So, our credit is fine.... good enough to get a loan now.

But alas..... one must have cash.

3 more months to go?

maybe

The First Shared Bath

Aidan and Ainsley seemed to really enjoy bathing together. Aidan splashed and acted crazy. Ainsley watched everything Aidan did and tried to join her.

Tick... Tick... Tick .... Tick

It is so peaceful and quiet right now. The girls are sleeping. I am so blessed to have daughters that sleep at the same time. Usually I nap as well but for some strange reason I'm awake (though I had only four hours last night) Maybe the reason I'm so tired is because I sleep too much?? Yes, I acknowledge that doesn't make sense but perhaps it has to do with how many sleep cycles I get. I dunno. Not important.

Musings ..........

Aidan, my lady bug, you are getting so big so quickly now. I'm actually going to look for 24 month clothing soon. OMIGOODNESS! (smile) This is the summer you had your first growth spurt. Jennifer from the doctor's office will be so shocked.

I have finally admitted to myself that we probably will not be looking for a house until December or even longer. So, far, the whole "buying a house" has been pushed back for a year and a half. I feel like it's just some dream that will keep getting pushed back until it fades back into the reality from which it came..... Perhaps I should look at prebuilts.

wha wha.... wha wha.... John just called. I didn't answer. ... I'll call later

Hey Hey Hey..... go back to sleep Ainsley.... shhhhh!

Ainsley pulled up on her own today for the first time. I'm very proud. She has accomplished so much in her short life.

um... Yes........ the previous was said with "tongue in cheek".... and a little touch of real motherly pride

(She turns 6 months next week)

HaPpY bIrThDaY AIDAN MCKENNA!!!

Aidan turns 21 months old today. 3- THREE more months to go until 2- TWO years old. That is YearS- with an S...... cry....sniff sniff............ she's getting so old!.......better go have another one

JUST kidding........ seriously...... just kidding....... Am waiting for Ainsley to be 2.

and Back to you Johnny...and Briana....and Aidan...an

The visit with the kids went really well. This year it seemed to fly by really fast so I must have been having fun. There were hardly any conflicts at all and with the kids being older they listen fairly well. I WILL say that they have yet to learn to respect other people's property. Quite a handful of things were broken during their stay. In my opinion if my ONE year old can go without tearing things or LOSING things and knows where to put things.... then why oh why cannot they? They respect People really well.... just not THINGS. Anyway, putting that aside, I really enjoyed this year. For various reasons I was slightly dubious about them coming but am glad they did. I hope as the years continue their visits with us are something they always enjoy and will remember very fondly when they're grown. I imagine that as teenagers Aunt B's house for the summer won't be the most exciting prospect but I hope they continue coming all the same.